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Housebreaking (heartbreaking) training

Everywhere it says that I need to teach the dog to do potty in a pee-pad, by keeping a dog locked in a crate or confined in a pen.

I learnt that in the beginning the pen needs to be tight: just enough space for a bed, a pee-pad and water & food plates. This way the dog will be forced to use the pad, as she would not want to pee where she sleeps. The dog must be confined in the pen all the time, with the exception of the time when I am playing with her. And this should continue until she is fully trained to do potty on the pad only.

I could not find the answers to the following scenario.

The dog is in the pen all day, as I am working.

When I come home, I am playing with her.

If I am not playing with her (suppose I am cleaning the dishes), she must go back to her pen (this is what is written everywhere).

The pen becomes a prison. 

How is she supposed to understand that this is not the punishment, it is for her own best interest, that she will be free after she learns how to use the pad?

If I am at home, she does not want to be in the pen. She starts barking and calls for attention by destroying the pee pad. I am ignoring her or telling her to stop the destruction, but it is soo heartbreaking. I so want to cuddle with her and have her around me all the time. but I cant. because she will never learn how to use her potty...

I am stuck and frustrated, just like my dog.

Pug housebreaking

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